Will Giving Birth Hurt? The Truth No One Explains Properly

This is a question that comes up in every antenatal and hypnobirthing course I run: “Will giving birth hurt?” or “What’s the pain like?” and “How can I make it less painful?”

From the moment you announce your pregnancy, everyone has a story to tell - friends, family, even neighbours. And often, it’s the negative birth stories that get shared the most! It’s completely normal to feel anxious, especially if you’ve never given birth before and this is your first baby. I remember thinking when I was pregnant with my first child, “How am I going to cope? My pain threshold is so low!”

But honestly, so much of how labour feels is in your mind. Pain isn’t something that comes from your body, it’s created by your brain. Your body sends signals to your brain when something is happening, like pressure or stretching, and the brain decides how to interpret those signals. If the brain thinks the situation is dangerous (as it’s full of negative births stories), it turns the volume up and we experience pain. If it feels safe as you’ve heard lots of positive birth stories, including ones that are similar to the birth you’d like, the volume can be turned down. Fear, tension and uncertainty increase pain, while feeling calm, supported and informed reduces it.

When you’re giving birth, the sensations you feel have a purpose. There’s nothing wrong with you when you’re in labour, you’re not injured or unwell; your body is doing exactly what it’s designed to do. Your uterus is working hard to contract and release, guiding your baby down and out into the world. Labour sensations are rhythmic, purposeful, and come in waves - and how you experience them depends heavily on your preparation, environment, support, and mindset.

Why labour feels different from other types of pain

Most pain we experience in everyday life is a warning sign that something is wrong. Labour sensations are different. They are a sign that something is working, it’s positive.

During labour, the uterus contracts to help the cervix open and the baby move down. When the brain feels safe and calm, it signals to your body to release powerful hormones, including oxytocin and endorphins. Endorphins are the body’s natural pain relievers (similar to morphine) and they help many birthing people cope with sensations far better than they expect.

These incredible birth hormones flow more effectively when you feel safe, supported and relaxed. When you feel afraid / scared of birth and your body is tense, it can struggle to release these hormones, which often makes labour feel harder. This is one of the key reasons preparation and birth education matters.

How people describe birth afterwards

Many parents don’t just describe labour as “painful.” They talk about intensity, strength, and power, moments of vulnerability, and times of calm and focus between contractions. Some describe it as overwhelming, others as transformative.

Every birth is different, and every person experiences it differently. There’s no one ‘right’ way for birth to feel.

Factors that influence how birth feels

There are lots of key factors that can change your labour experience, including:

• Mindset & expectations: knowing what’s happening and trusting your body makes sensations easier to manage.

• Environment: feeling safe, private, and uninterrupted supports hormone release.

• Support: continuous calm support from a partner, birth partner, or doula improves coping.

• Coping tools: breathing techniques, movement, relaxation, visualisation, massage, and water can all reduce discomfort. These strategies are at the heart of my Antenatal & Hypnobirthing Courses.

Can birth be calm or positive?

Absolutely! Positive birth doesn’t mean no intensity, no pain, or a perfect experience. It means you feel informed, respected, supported, and able to cope, no matter what happens. Many people who prepare in advance describe feeling calm, strong, and proud of themselves afterwards.

What about pain relief?

Pain relief during labour can be natural or pharmacological. The most important thing is having a range of options, so you can switch if something isn’t working. In hypnobirthing, we practice comfort measures in daily life, like using breathing techniques, relaxing in warm baths, listening to hypnobirthing tracks, or aromatherapy, so your brain associates these tools with calm and relaxation. The more you practice them during pregnancy in the build-up to labour, the more effective they’ll be in helping you cope with the sensations of labour.

Preparing for birth isn’t about refusing pain relief; it’s about understanding your options and feeling confident to make choices as labour unfolds.

So…will giving birth hurt?!

Birth is intense, but it shouldn’t be something that you’re frightened of. With the right preparation, many expectant parents cope a lot better than they expected and feel surprised by their own strength. You’ll feel like superwoman once you’ve had your baby - there’s no better feeling in the world and I wish you could bottle it up!

If you’re feeling anxious, that’s completely normal. Birth preparation is about understanding your body, your choices, and how to work with labour, not against it.

Join My Group Hypnobirthing Course

If you’re looking to prepare for birth with confidence, my next Group Antenatal & Hypnobirthing Course in Hartley Wintney will help you feel calm, informed, and ready for labour.

You’ll learn evidence-based hypnobirthing techniques, natural and pharmacological pain relief strategies, and practical tools to support your physical, mental, and emotional preparation. Join other expectant parents in a supportive, relaxed environment and take control of your birth experience.

👉 Book your place on my next Course here - only 2 spaces left!

Perfect if you’re pregnant in Hampshire, Surrey, or Berkshire and looking to get birth ready.

Thanks for reading.

Sending love and positive pregnancy vibes to you, Fiona xx