5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Giving Birth

When I first fell pregnant in 2019 I had NO idea what to really expect when it came to birth. I mean, most of my views and beliefs came from films, dramatised TV programs and traumatic birth stories I’d heard from other people. Sound familiar?! (This is why unpicking all the conditioning around birth is so important when you’re pregnant, so you don’t take those negative views with you into your birth space).

I had my first baby, Henry, at Frimley Park Hospital in Surrey at the start of the first Covid lockdown. I had read so many books, did NCT, a hypnobirthing group course, and made sure I had everything I could possibly need in my hospital bag. Even being so prepared, there were things I only discovered through the experience of actually giving birth. Things no one had told me, but I wish they had.

Now, as a hypnobirthing teacher in Hampshire and mum of two, I want to share some of those lessons with you.

1. Everything In Birth Is Optional

This is the number one thing I wish every expectant parent knew - you don’t have to say yes to every procedure, policy or recommendation just because it’s 'routine' or 'what we do around here'.

You’re allowed to ask questions, request time to think, and decline anything that doesn’t feel right for you and your family.

From membrane sweeps and growth scans, to induction and continuous monitoring during labour, it’s all optional. This is your body, your baby, and your birth. Knowing your rights and choices is one of the most powerful ways to feel in control.

2. Birth Isn’t Just Physical – It’s Emotional, Mental and Transformational

I expected birth to be intense physically (which it was!), but I wasn’t prepared for the emotional rollercoaster, strength, vulnerability, overwhelming love, worry, all within a few hours - thanks birth hormones!

This is why your mindset during labour is so important. Feeling safe, supported, and confident can completely change your experience.

That’s exactly what hypnobirthing techniques are designed for, it’s not just about pain management, it’s about creating calm, feeling in control, and connected to your birth. And making sure you have a confident and calm birth partner by your side - that’s my job to get them feeling like that!

3. Your body will tell you so much in labour

People often say “trust your instincts” when you're in labour, “just do what your body tells you”. It wasn’t until I experienced it myself and gave birth that I REALLY understood what that meant.

During labour, your body communicates with you, guiding how to move, how to breathe, and even what noises to make. By surrendering to the process and listening to your body, you’re working with your baby in a beautiful, instinctive dance that helps them navigate the birth canal.

I remember this urge to just be on my own at some points, and then closer to the actual birth needing closeness to my birth partner and his support more than ever. I also remember moving instinctively based on what I could feel inside, changing positions regularly to somewhere else that felt good, all little movements and adjustments to help baby on their journey.

4. Your Birth Partner Is More Important Than You Think

My husband Sam was my birth partner, and when I originally floated the idea of hypnobirthing to him he was sceptical (even more so when I suggested a home birth for our second baby, but that’s another blog post entirely!)

A birth partner isn’t just a spectator, sitting in the corner of the room. After we had prepared together and did our group hypnobirthing course in Hampshire with 2 other couples, Sam became my absolute rock. During labour he reminded me of my breathing techniques, advocated for my when needed, helped me stay calm and made sure I had a super relaxing environment to boost those all important birth hormones (hello oxytocin!)

Birth partners can make a huge difference when they know how to support you emotionally and practically. It’s why I always encourage them to attend my hypnobirthing courses, it’s a team experience, something you’re preparing for and going through together as a strong, united team.

5. You’re Stronger Than You Know

Often women say that giving birth pushes them to the absolute limit of what they thought they were capable of - physically, emotionally, mentally. But after you have, wow do you feel invisible!

It may not go exactly to plan, but if you come out of it feeling powerful, respected, and supported, that’s what matters most.

After giving birth you’ll never feel the same again, you’ll have so much awe and respect for your body and what it did, for your baby, and the strength you didn’t know you had. This, in turn, gives you so much confidence heading into parenthood too.

Preparing for Birth With Confidence

You can’t fully predict how your birth will unfold, but you can prepare your mind, body, and birth partner to feel calm, confident and in control. I wish I had truly known that it was OK to ask questions, to change my mind and to trust my instincts.

If you’d love to feel more calm, confident and in control as you prepare for birth, I’d love to support you. Explore my Hypnobirthing Courses in Hampshire – from full 1:1 antenatal courses in your own home, to group hypnobirthing classes in Hartley Wintney. Whether it’s your first baby or fourth, there’s an option for you.

And if you’re local, don’t miss my Positive Birth Masterclass on Friday 19th September at the Lucy Pygott Centre, Hartley Wintney. It’s a free, practical evening designed to help you and your birth partner feel excited and prepared for labour (plus you’ll get a cheeky course discount if you attend!).

Grab your free tickets here!

Your birth. Your body. Your choice.

Thanks for reading.

Fiona x