Finding Your Village in Motherhood

You fall pregnant and suddenly things shift with your friendship group. Some of them have children already, albeit different ages and stages than you, or some may be so far away from having kids that you suddenly feel like you have nothing in common with them.

Who do you turn to?

There’s this image that as you soon as you have a baby your social circle gets bigger with baby groups, antenatal classes and daily coffee dates. But the early days of pregnancy and motherhood can feel more isolating than you’re expecting. You're trying to cope with a completely new version of yourself, while your usual support systems have changed or feel further away.

Ever Heard of Matrescence?

Matrescence is a word used to describe the physical, emotional, hormonal and identity shifts that happen when you become a mother, right from the very moment you become pregnant. We all know the word ‘adolescence’ right, and the huge changes we go through at that phase of life, but less of us have heard of matrescence, the same idea but at a totally different stage of life.

This total life change is rarely talked about, and is partly why I started the ‘Mum’s Village’ get togethers, to have a space to talk about the ups and down, and how hard this really is (why does no-one prepare you?!) Understanding matrescence helps explain why you might feel a bit lost, lonely or trying to figure out exactly who you are now. This identity shift is completely normal and can feel very unexpected, so having people around you who get it can make all the difference. If you want to learn more about matrescence and the changes you’re going through, ‘Matrescence’ by Lucy Jones is a wonderful place to start. I had so many lightbulb moments reading this and it felt incredible validating, even after entering motherhood 5 years ago - so much resonated with me and I felt a sort of relief and release when I read it.

The Power of Finding Your Village

"Find your village” and “you’re not meant to do this alone” have sort of become buzz phrases, but they are so true. We are wired for connection and being part of a tribe, and this couldn’t be more crucial than in the transition into motherhood. Having a village, a group of like-minded, supportive mums, can be such a lifeline. Whether it’s someone to message at 3am when your baby won’t sleep, or a friendly face to chat to about birth plans and what stuff you need to buy, it makes a huge difference knowing someone else is going through it too. Even 5 years on, I am still in contact with the mums I did my hypnobirthing course and antenatal class with; they’ve been the most incredible support for me at so many different stages of my motherhood journey and I couldn’t have done it without them.

Building Connection from the Bump

Pregnancy is the perfect time to start building your village. This is exactly why I started my pregnancy relaxation sessions in Hartley Wintney. A weekly chance to pause, breathe, connect with your baby, learn some key tips and techniques for birth, and chat with other mums-to-be over snacks and drinks - what’s not to love?! It’s amazing how a simple chat can spark friendships that helps support you throughout pregnancy, birth and beyond. The more of these sessions I do, the more I realise they’re not just about relaxation (although that’s a big part of it), but the most important aspect is the friendships that develop, the space that is held for women to talk about anything, to be honest, to feel seen, a space to build your village before your baby even arrives.

Doesn’t Mum Mates Sounds a Bit Cringe?!

Once your baby is here, what you need from life changes in so many ways. One of the reasons I started ‘The Mum’s Village’, our community and monthly meet-ups in Hampshire, is because I saw how many mums wanted real conversation and support, something that wasn’t just another baby class, something that was actually about YOU. No pressure or expectations, just a welcoming space to connect, share, and refill your cup. Whether it’s your first baby or your third, this kind of support is invaluable.

Preparing for Birth Together

If you're preparing to give birth, a great way to build your village is by joining a group birth prep course. These sessions aren’t just about learning how to breathe through contractions and to reduce fear and anxiety around birth, they’re about feeling calm, confident and connected in your pregnancy and birth choices. So if you're thinking "how do I stay calm in labour?", "how can my birth partner support me?" or "can I access the Mulberry birth centre at Frimley Park Hospital?, then this is the course for you! If you're unsure whether NCT or another course is the right option for you, check out my Group Hypnobirthing Course page where I talk about some of the differences.

My group courses in Hartley Wintney bring together local couples who are preparing for birth in a positive and empowering way. In just one relaxed Sunday morning session, you’ll gain practical tools for birth and have the chance to meet others who are on the same journey. Many parents who join these courses go on to keep in touch well after their babies arrive too.

You Deserve Support

Whether you're pregnant, navigating the fourth trimester or chasing toddlers around soft play, you are not alone! Your new motherhood village might not be made up of your friends from school or family, but instead new mums who meet in classes, cafés or group chats. But once you find them, everything feels a little lighter and much more manageable.

If you're local to Hartley Wintney or the surrounding areas of Hampshire, Berkshire or Surrey, there are plenty of opportunities to connect:

Pregnancy Relaxation Sessions - gentle evenings of breathwork, guided relaxation, birth prep discussion and real connection (only 3 more sessions to go on June’s course, you can sign up here). Monday evenings at the Victoria Hall Complex, Hartley Wintney 7:30 - 8:45pm.

The Mum’s Village - monthly meet-ups for hot coffees, honest chats and a supportive space for all stages of motherhood. Our next meet-up is on Thursday 19th June at Chalk Cafe, Southwood Country Park, Hampshire from 10am. Drop me an email if you’d like to join us.

Group Hypnobirthing Courses - one relaxed Sunday morning session to make you and your birth partner feel positive, confident and empowered. The next one is Sunday 3rd August in Hartley Wintney, Hampshire and there’s only 2 spaces left - grab your spot here.

Motherhood has taught me so much in my 5 years since I joined this crazy club, not just about babies and giving birth, but about the importance of having real support to help you through this journey. I created Hypnatal Birthing to offer more than just birth prep courses. I’ve created a space where you can make friends, grow in confidence and make sure you’re not doing this alone.

If you’re local to Hartley Wintney or nearby in Hampshire, Berkshire or Surrey, I’d absolutely love to welcome you along to one of my sessions, whether that’s a calming pregnancy relaxation evening, a positive and practical antenatal hypnobirthing course, or our Mum’s Village meet-ups and WhatsApp community. You deserve a village, and I hope you find a piece of yours here.

Sending love,

Fiona x