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Reframe the Pain: Why Pain in Birth Is Not a Bad Thing

Updated: Feb 5

Anyone scared about the pain of giving birth?

Let’s be honest - when people talk about childbirth, the first thing that comes to mind is the pain isn’t it? It’s intense, unpredictable, and unlike anything else. The problem is everyone experiences and interprets pain completely different; it’s so subjective, yet we place so much emphasis on other’s people’s experiences when we talk about birth.


Focussing too much on what the pain will feel like won’t serve you well. I know it’s easy to do and completely understandable if you’ve never given birth before, but I’d really encourage you to think about ways you can manage that pain and even make the pain less intense.


Last night in Pregnancy Relaxation we were talking about fears and worries about birth. This is something we cover in my Hypnobirthing courses as it's really important to reduce the amount of fear you go into birth with, as this can have a big physical impact on how your labour feels and progesses. It's also really beneficial to discuss this with other pregnant women and in an environment separate from your birth partner. Several of the ladies last night said they were scared of the unknown, the pain they’d feel when giving birth. I encouraged them to start reframing what pain is, start thinking differently about it and instead to understand what that feeling is and what its purpose is.


It's totally understandable for a group of 5 first time mums to be nervous about the pain - I was too when I was first pregnant back in 2019, but when I did a hypnobirthing course and started learning about birth that fear seemed to subside, instead being replaced with a deep knowledge about what was actually going on in my body. Over time I wasn’t scared about birth any more, I was excited to experience it!


What is that feeling inside me?!

Have you ever stopped to think “why does giving birth actually hurt?" Believe it or not, there’s actually a reason for it, well lots of reasons actually! Pain plays a really important role in the birthing process, so let’s look into a few of these reasons and the purpose of pain:


1: Pain helps guide the birthing process

The way contractions build and change gives a clear signal of what is happening in labour. Early contractions are manageable, giving your body and your baby time to prepare and adjust. Birth very rarely starts with a gush of water and a woman then being rushed through the hospital corridors to a delivery room - as much as the movies would love you to think that! As things ramp up, the intensity tells you when it is time to focus, move, or even change positions to help your baby get into the right spot e.g. squatting or leaning forward will help open the pelvis and will help baby’s journey down the birth canal. And when the pain shifts to that overwhelming urge to push, that’s your body saying “It’s go time!”


2: Hormones - your built-in painkillers

Did you know that your body can help you manage the sensations you are feeling? How incredible is that! During labour your brain releases endorphins (aka your body’s natural pain relievers) to help you cope. The more intense things get, the more endorphins kick in and increase. And then we have oxytocin, the 'love hormone', which is responsible for starting your labour, helping your mind and body stay calm and relaxed, keeping your contractions going and also helping with bonding once your baby arrives.

On the flip side, fear and stress can make pain worse. When you are tense, your body releases adrenaline, which can actually slow labour down. That is why relaxation, movement, and support from people you trust can make such a big difference in how labour feels.


3: A powerful transformation


Pain in childbirth is not just about getting the baby out, it is also about what it does for you. Labour is intense and powerful, there is no getting away from that, but working through it can bring an incredible sense of strength and accomplishment. It is a transformation, not just physically, but emotionally too. That moment where you look at your baby and think “wow, I did that, I birthed you” is incredible, you feel like a total superwoman!


4: Signals progress in labour

As labour progresses so does the intensity, frequency and duration of your contractions. How will you know when you are in labour? In early labour contractions won’t really have much rhythm or pattern to them, they will be quite sporadic and be quite different in how long they are or how far apart. As labour progresses a pattern will emerge and they will last roughly between 45-60 seconds and you'll have about 3 in a 10 minute period in established labour. I always recommend to my hypnobirthing clients not to get too hung up on measuring or tracking your contractions, as this can actually have the opposite effect and interrupt with the flow of hormones and labour. Instead try to focus inward, concentrate on your breathing and relaxation techniques to get through each one. The more things you have to focus on during a contraction, the less you’ll be focusing on the feeling and the time will pass much quicker (e.g. TENS machine, breathing and counting, wave comb, visualisations - there's loads you can focus on to take your mind off how the contraction is feeling!)


The increasing intensity and frequency of pain indicate the different stages of labour, helping both you and your team see that labour is progressing or whether assistance might be needed.


Try to reframe the increasing intensity, the more powerful the contractions feel, the harder your uterus is working to dilate your cervix and bring your baby down the birth canal - all positive stuff! One of my favourite positive birth affirmations is “Each contraction brings me one step closer to meeting my baby” and also “My contractions can't be stronger than me, because they are me”. I remember that one really sticking out for me, as a first time mum expecting my first baby; all of a sudden I felt so much calmer about what contractions were, they were something that my uterus was doing, like any other muscle in my body, to perform a movement; when you think of it like that it suddenly seems less scary!


So let's think about birth pain in a different way

Pain in childbirth can feel overwhelming, but it actually is a really powerful part of the birth process that has a clear purpose. It helps your body progress through labour, releases essential hormones to help with pain relief, helps you know how to move and change position to work with your body and baby, and even strengthens the bond between you and your baby.

Instead of seeing it as just something to endure, try to think of it as a natural part of the process, this can really help it feel less scary and intimidating. Every birth experience is different, but understanding why pain happens can help you feel more confident, prepared, and empowered as you bring your little one into the world.



Ready to dive deeper into your antenatal education?

If you want to learn loads more about birth, the physiology and science behind it, and what those feelings are, then I can help! My courses combine education around the science of what your body and baby are doing, with loads to tools and techniques to help you stay calm and relaxed in labour, whilst also increasing your confidence in deciding what’s right for you, to help you get the birth you want and deserve.


I’m running a FREE Positive Birth Masterclass in Hartley Wintney on Friday 28th February, an hour jammed pack full of great birth insight! I’d love to see you there, so grab your ticket here.


Thanks of reading and speak soon,

Fi x


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